MISSCULTURE

Choices

2010-12-21T00:45:00.001-05:00

This is the fifth time I've started this post.

I don't want to write what I should be writing.

And I've just been dancing around it.

Badly.

I should just stop and forget it.

But I will say this.

Choices.

If only I could make the right one.

What Makes Me Tick

2010-12-18T00:55:00.000-05:00

I've often pondered that question.

Not sure I have the answer.

The most important things to me are the relationships in my life. My career is based on building good relationships with people - building positive and lasting relationships. This started at a young age with me. I was five years old when my teacher told my mother that I "played well with others". My entire elementary school experience was based on two things - doing well in school and being the "helper". I remember at our annual award assemblies - I would win the same awards - the academic award and the citizenship award. Also the French award - but I digress.

My family forms the foundation. And by family - I include extended family/relatives in that definition. Being Italian - it was just like that. They are my blood and guts. My father summed it up once when referring to his brother - whom he's had "disagreements" with over the years. He said - "I may fight with my brother but if my brother was in a fight with someone I wouldn't stand by and watch him get beaten - I would fight with him". I feel that way about my family. God, they do drive me crazy - but I would fight for them. Always.

My friends are my spirit. They are people I choose to connect with. Some of them feel like "soul mates" - people I was destined to meet - as though our souls knew each other in a past life in a profoundly meaningful way. My friend "K" is like that. I feel a connection with her that goes beyond this life - that feels like she and I were warriors together on a field of battle. I know that sounds really Shirley MacLaine-esque - but it's the truth. We both share the same fighting spirit especially when it comes to people we care about. But we also share the same kind of dark despair that comes upon us and seizes our minds in a terrible vise. It's something we both have to consciously fight. And we do.

So yes - my relationships are really important to me.

But so is my solitude. I have no problem with going to movies by myself, travelling alone or just being alone with my thoughts or a book or my journal. My life is full of busy noise - so solitude is generally something I have to carve out for myself. And I crave it. Because I don't get enough of it. I also quite like my own company. It all started when I was a kid - and I'd be walking down the hall in school - going from one class to another - I was often in my head - making up a story to entertain myself. I have done that my entire life. I suppose this is why I was so drawn to "story telling" as a profession. I just feel compelled to keep telling stories - whether they are fictional or true.

So that's part of what makes me tick. There's a lot more but I'll save that for another time.

the drug of choice

2010-12-06T00:24:00.004-05:00

two months since my last post.

and my sister is now on lithium

but she needs to get to a certain level before it really starts to take effect.

lithium.

the go-to drug for people with bipolar depression.

it's been used to treat bipolar for more than 75 years.

discovered in France as a treatment - when the patients of a mental hospital started feeling better -they realised the lithium in the water (lithium is a salt) was the reason for their improved condition.

as i have been told by my sister's therapist - bi-polar depression is the darkest depression there is - before treatment options were available many sufferers committed suicide because they could not live with the utter despair of the depression.

having seen first hand what it does - i can understand that.

but it's a tricky drug - the level at which it actually benefits the patient therapeutically is just slightly lower than the toxicity level - which is dangerous - so blood levels have to be monitored constantly.

but the benefits outweigh the risks. people who take lithium can have a good quality of life. that is much better than living in the dark.

i try to tell my sister this - who is so tired of taking medication. tired of more tests. tired of feeling this heavy weight on her shoulders.

i don't know how it feels so i cannot know what she is going through - what she feels in her head.

and here i am writing this - well - i suppose to relieve some of the pressure in my head.

a part of me is just so tired of her illness - tired of being the one who has to prop her up. but i won't give up - i can't give up. it's not in me to give up. i have to be positive for the both of us.

and i do believe that a combination of drug and cognitive therapy is her best treatment option.

i believe that if you change your behaviour you can change your mood - your mindset - and this is what cognitive therapy teaches - you have to start acting differently and then eventually the feelings will follow.

but like anything - you have to put in the effort - and commitment to make it work.

my sister is rather stubborn in this arena. although she just started a 12 week cognitive group therapy programme - she is skeptical about it having a positive effect.

some people who suffer from depression lose their will - and commit suicide.

while she has had suicidal thoughts she would never act on them.

it's a heavy burden though - to carry around.

she's going on 8 months of this depression - the longest time she has gone without any respite - and it's taking it's toll.

i really hope the lithium works.

The light switch

2010-10-11T00:20:00.001-04:00

One month since I last posted here.

One month later and my sister's meds are still not working.

Five months since her "psychotic break".

At least you're not psychotic I say to her - trying to be positive.

But she is severely depressed.

Most of my adult life has been spent dealing with my younger sister's mental illness.

A mental illness that in some ways I've adopted as my own.

Funny that.

Adopting a mental illness.

My sister's mental illness has been tough to pinpoint. It's changed over the years - morphed into different kinds of depression. Right now she is suffering from psychotic depression - which literally means a depression brought on after a psychotic break. But her doctors are treating it as bi-polar. Even though she's not a text book case.

I don't suffer from bi-polar but I do get a front row seat.

Apparently bi-polar type depressions are the worst sort of depression.

In the past - before advances in medication - people who suffered from bi-polar depression often ended up committing suicide.

And her doctor said she may continue to get these throughout her life - mania to psychotic break to depression.

You have to wonder how that could possibly happen when someone is on medication.

But sometimes the medication can trigger it.

The same medication that had you feeling just fine for a few months suddenly turns on you.

And then - like a light switch - all the light inside you - all the spirit - shuts off.

I wish we could figure out how to flick that switch on again.

Going Back to Tumblr

2010-09-07T01:50:00.001-04:00

by Joanna D'Angelo

So I left and then I went back.

Why, I ask myself?

Well, I missed it.

I missed posting pretty pictures.

I missed sharing my thoughts with others who might comment or leave a heart.

I missed some of the people I used to follow before.

And to be honest -

I don't think I was quite me the first time.

Not the me that I am on blogger, twitter and facebook.

That's more who I am in real life.

Light, fun, silly

But also vulnerable.

Open.

Philosophical.

Italian.

Yes I think it's an adjective too - like sentimental.

That's me.

So that's why I went back.

Well,

mostly it's because I miss the pretty pictures.

Had to Get Back to This

2010-08-24T09:16:00.001-04:00

By Joanna D'Angelo

I had to get back to writing down my thoughts.

But perhaps not in the way I had before.

Sometimes life isn't what you want it to be.

Sometimes life is what it is.

And you have to accept it.

And deal with it.

And live with it.

And make the best of it.

But somewhere.

Somehow.

You have to carve out some happiness for yourself.

And that is what I hope to do.

I don't think I've ever been happy.

Truly happy for myself.

I need to figure out what that means.

What that is.

Perhaps blogging here again will help.

Simple.

Just me.

We'll see...

CLOSE CALLS AND BARBIE DOLLS

2010-01-26T10:42:00.014-05:00

by Joanna D'Angelo

Last week on my way home from a meeting, I drove by the aftermath of a really bad car accident that happened at the intersection near where I live. I don't know about you, but I always slow down and stare at accidents. Humans can be quite macabre and I'm no exception, in spite of my usually sunny disposition. Like most people, when I drive by an accident, my mind clicks into "camera mode" and snaps a series of staccato images: the front of the car twisted in and up. The flashing lights of the ambulance. The firefighters moving in slow motion towards the car. The cop waving his hands as he redirects traffic. I don't think anyone involved in the accident was killed because there was nothing in the news about it. Thankful for that.

This may sound like a strange notion but - when people are killed in traffic accidents at a particular stretch of highway or a particular intersection that has seen a lot of fatal collisions - I wonder if the souls of the people who die hover for long in a bewildered haze or do they quickly move on? I hope they move on. Otherwise, imagine the energy of so many souls floating in that one area. Imagine how we might perceive that energy as we speed by them on the highway. The intersection in my city - the scene of that particular accident - is known for being one of the worst for collisions. It's always very busy so that can account for it - but it's as though people go through this strange metamorphosis when they pass through it - as though there's a dark cloud that hangs over those four corners that makes people lose their minds for a split second. Because that's all it takes. Just a split second. And your life can be forever changed. Or snuffed out.

Much later, I got to thinking about a few "close calls" that I've had in my own life. Now, I definitely do not lead a dangerous life. Far from it. But, I think brushes with death happen to all of us - no matter our circumstances or how careful we are. And when we have these brushes with death they leave a mark on us even though we may have buried the incident in our memory banks. I remember when I was about four or five years old - my family was visiting my aunt and uncle. It was a Sunday afternoon in summer and my older cousins (girl and boy) took my older sister and I out for a walk. We ended up at the creek near their house. The neighbourhood where they lived was not the best and there were some rough and odd characters who lived in the area but our parents didn't seem to mind. Now, years later that same area has become "gentrified" and it's where all the "granolas" live. Sidebar note: a journalist friend of mine calls eco-conscious suburbanite women "Sheilas". I'll have to ask her what she calls the men. Anyway - back when I was a kid - the area was not the "granola-heaven" it is today and that afternoon it became something far darker to me.

We ended up walking through a wooded area that bordered one side of the creek. My cousins thought it would be a fun adventure to make our way to the other side. Then as we stepped into a small clearing we came to a halt. All of a sudden two boys stepped out from behind the trees as though they'd been waiting for someone. I shouldn't say they were boys -because to my five year old mind - they were much, much older than us. Looking back I think they were teenagers - maybe 15 or 16 years old. But they seemed big and menacing to me. My older boy cousin picked me up and sat me on a big rock. I can't remember why he did that. The boys told us we had better get the hell out of there or their leader would make us sorry. They pointed across the creek to a man who was sitting on a lawn chair and holding a fishing pole. He was wearing sunglasses and a hat and had a basket beside him on the ground. My girl cousin said we weren't doing anything wrong - just taking a walk.

They stepped closer to us and that obviously triggered something in me because I started to cry. I can see it now - like a series of still shots in my mind. One of the boys moved like a flash and slapped me across the face and told me to shut up. I felt the shock of the slap. I think I stopped breathing for just a moment because of that shock. I put my hand to my face and felt the burning sting. Then I started crying again. Much harder this time. My cousins stepped forward and told them to leave me alone - I was just a little kid. Then they pushed my boy cousin - who couldn't have been more than 10 or 11 at the time. I can't recall but they might have roughed him up as well. I think his older sister grabbed him to pull him back, while my sister moved closer to me and whispered to me to stop crying. I don't remember what happened after that. I do recall our walk back to the house. I was holding my girl cousin's hand. My cousin and sister made me swear not to tell our parents what had happened. I remember nodding my head as I was still sniffling. I promised I wouldn't tell. I never did. I also remember my boy cousin looking really upset, dejected. His pride must have taken a beating as well. To this day we have never spoken of that incident. I think when it first happened we were just too scared to even bring it up. And then we eventually forgot about it. Who knows why those teenagers did what they did? Maybe we had stumbled onto their gang territory or where they conducted drug deals. Or maybe they were just bullies. Even though I buried that event long ago - it still surfaces from time to time.

I know that what happened to me is certainly not the worst thing in the world to happen to a kid. Children around the world experience unspeakable horrors every minute of every day. But I think any kind of violence has an impact on a small child. It certainly would not be the last time that I'd witness violence in my life. And, it could have gone in a different direction. On that day. In that clearing. But for some intangible thing that happened. Some moment that shifted the course of events. I can't recall what that "moment" was. But in this next "close call" I certainly recognize it.

The other "close call" that I'll share with you, happened when I was in first year university. Journalism 101. We split into groups and our first assignment was a "fun" one. Shoot and edit a "fake" news story. So we decided to get creative and use barbie dolls to shoot a "woman in peril" segment but with a feminist twist. We set Ken up in his convertible on the train track that ran through campus. Barbie would rescue Ken and we'd get a cool shot of the train hurtling by just as they made their escape. I know. Spielberg-esque! Well, it didn't quite work out that way. We had about 30 minutes before the train would rumble by but we were futzing around for so long - that we lost track of time. The train blared its horn but we were huddled on the tracks trying to get "the perfect shot" and concentrating on what we were doing that we didn't notice the train approaching. And there was construction on campus so there was a lot of outdoor noise, alright? But just as the train was literally "coming round the bend" a guy walked by us - stepped over the tracks and nonchalantly said, "The train is coming." We froze. Looked up. Gasped! Oh no! The Barbies! Wait! The Camera! We got the hell off the track. Quite literally, in the nick of time. I was shaking but I managed to get a shot of the train barreling past. A close call to be sure! Not my finest moment in the smarts department. I never saw that guy again. He just walked by us and disappeared. I am forever thankful that he did happen along on that day. I often wonder if that fellow was human or a guardian spirit? You may shake your head at my notion but when you're in a situation like that - "a close call" - perhaps it helps us feel better believing that there was some sort of divine intervention involved that got us through it.

A few years ago - a driver along the same intersection near where I live - lost control of his car and hit a pedestrian - a doctor. He happened to be a popular doctor in the area. The doctor died as a result of his injuries. He was just walking down the street. Every day we are faced with the possibility of danger. Natural disasters, car accidents, even a fall can spell the end but such is life. Certainly, a brush with death can be life changing - and it might trigger all sorts of psychological trauma. It might even lead us to hide from the world for a while. But if we live a life of avoidance then we're not really living. We're only existing and that is no way to live. That is no way to live.

Don't touch that dial...

2010-01-12T14:14:00.008-05:00

by Joanna D'Angelo

In Canada we do news and current affairs programmes like there's no tomorrow. CBC has been running The National (news show) at 10:00 pm every night - forever. And they recently added Saturday and Sunday nights as well. They've been promoting it non-stop. Now, you may ask - so what? Turn the channel if you're such a dummy that you can't stomach the news. Well, my answer to you would be - I do watch TV news - but I actually prefer CBC radio news. Just a preference that I've always had. I'm very fond of CBC radio. Canadians tend to be news hounds - at least in my neck of the woods they are. But my background is in journalism so I'm biased. But that's not the point I'm making here. The point is that one less hour of prime time for drama and comedy means less work for writers, directors, actors, technicians, crafts people etc... who work in this arena. Not to mention we do have CBC Newsworld folks - that's CBC's 24 hr news channel. But it's cheaper to produce news than scripted TV, (she says, with a sigh).

Growing up, I watched mostly American TV shows and movies. Our cultural mindset was that American was always better than Canadian. And yet, I have such a nostalgia for the Canadian TV shows I watched as a kid. Why? Well, because they were ours. They were from here. They were made by Canadians. Not because I could always relate to the Canadian-ness of the show - but because I knew that they were Canadian-made. Some of the shows I watched included: King of Kensington (1975-1980) starring Al Waxman - about a married guy who ran a variety store in the Kensington market area of Toronto. Oh, and his mother lived with them. Also there were a lot of "ethnics" on the show which I liked, because I'm Italian. Degrassi Junior High (1987-1989) was another show I liked because it was about regular looking kids with real problems. Over the years, it spun into a huge franchise and is now a successful show in the US market as well. Then there was the Littlest Hobo (1979 to 1985). Hobo - which was actually a CTV show - was about an orphaned German Shepherd who would travel from town to town, helping people. Funny thing is that in every episode the people he rescued would want to adopt him but he'd always end up leaving - preferring to "just keep moving on". Not a stellar show in the writing/acting department but the dog - whose name in real life was London, was adorable and I loved the theme song:

Another CBC show I watched as a kid was The Beachcombers starring Bruno Gerussi as a "log salvager" named Nick Adonidas who traveled up and down the BC coast looking for logs. Yup. That was a prime time show. His nemesis was Relic who would always try to steal logs from Nick. No joke. The show revolved around their small town, friends etc... It ran from 1972 to 1990 - it's the longest running show in Canadian history.

One of the reasons why I watched The Beachcombers was because it was one of the few shows on Canadian TV that featured "ethnic" people (see King of Kensington above). I recall feeling a sense of comfort watching it on Sunday evenings - probably had more to do with the fact that I watched it with my family more than anything else. It's still on in re-runs. Here's a clip of the intro but it goes on into the first part of the show - so watch it if you dare. Again, something about that theme music:

Another comforting CBC show was Wayne and Shuster. They were a beloved Canadian comedy duo who had a long running variety show that aired on Saturday evenings before Hockey Night in Canada. I remember in one episode they did a take on Shakespeare's Julius Caesar. Their comedy was very "shticky" Here's the sketch:

Probably, my favourite all time CBC show was SCTV (Second City TV)(1976-1984). Here's a fun little story about SCTV. When the CBC started airing SCTV in its third season - they required two extra minutes of content. So Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas came up with "Bob and Doug McKenzie" - which went on to become one of the most revered comic pairings in Canadian TV history. The duo recently teamed up again to do an animated version of Bob and Doug for Global TV. Odd thing though. Rick Moranis isn't voicing Bob - Dave Coulier (Full House) is the new voice of Bob. Moranis and Thomas are both exec producers and writers of the show.

So why did I watch SCTV? Well, it was and I think still remains one of the funniest shows to have ever graced the small screen - with a magical cast including John Candy, Catherine O'Hara, Andrea Martin, Joe Flaherty, Eugene Levy, Martin Short, Rick Moranis, Dave Thomas and Harold Ramis. There were other cast members over the years as well - but this was the golden group. Some of my favourite characters and sketches? Well, I loved Monster Chiller Horror Theatre, The Sammy Maudlin Show - often with special guest Bobby Bitman. The Days of the Week and the list goes on and on. I think what made them so special - in addition to the fact that they were all so brilliant - was that it looked like they were genuinely having fun. I don't know if that was necessarily the case behind the scenes - but on screen it sure appeared that way. There is a feeling that you get from watching SNL now - that the actors are very much aware of how they appear because they're not just trying to be funny - they're trying to sell themselves to execs, producers, broadcasters for future projects - be they movies or TV shows. You didn't get that sense watching SCTV.

I remember in Grade 7 having to do a "creative presentation" in front of my class - I was inspired by SCTV so I came up with an Evangelical minister giving a sermon about the sacredness of friendship as a front for selling his own brand of French wine called Mon Ami. It sounds silly but I tell you - I had the class in stitches! I even had my own prop bottles and designed my own labels. I had a pretty cool teacher that year and he encouraged our antics.

I love this sketch - it's Martin Short doing Jerry Lewis - check out "Scenes from An Idiot's Marriage" a spoof of an Ingmar Bergman film.

I've blogged about this before - but I'm currently developing a scripted dramedy series with a Toronto-based production company. They're very well respected Canadian producers but what I like about them is that they're open and willing to explore American broadcasters as partners as well because our funding system in Canada can be - shall we say - challenging. Here's an example. When I was developing my documentary about romance writers - we were searching for three writers at different stages of their careers to follow in the doc. Our search included American writers but when I had a chat with someone in the know - she told me that we should stick to Canadian writers because it could affect our tax credits and Canadian Television Fund (CTF) funding envelope. Why? Because the doc wouldn't be considered "Canadian" enough.

As for scripted shows I've been told that you don't have to beat the audience over the head with hockey sticks, Mounties and Tim Hortons but it has to feasibly take place in Canada. If too much of an effort is made to hide Canada, then the CTF has a problem with it. But what is too much and what isn't? It's all so very subjective. I've always believed that if it's made by Canadians then it's Canadian content. But that, unfortunately, is not the case - at least not when it comes to funding.

So what is my point here? Well, my writing partner Kayla Perrin and I just finished yet another round of re-writes to our series outline. It's practically a bible and we haven't even reached "official development" stage yet. So I guess I'm just chewing my bottom lip as we wait for feedback. And I can't help but ruminate about our industry. The rest is just nostalgia...

WRITING LESSONS AND OTHER LESSONS...

2009-12-29T12:20:00.006-05:00

by Joanna D'Angelo

I was going through my ideas files this morning and came across an article that I had written some years back for World Olympian Magazine. At the time I was working for a production company in Ottawa but I was also a movie reviewer for CBC Radio. The editor of the magazine had heard my movie review for the documentary One Day In September by Kevin Macdonald (a very fine filmmaker) that chronicled the hostage taking at the 1972 Olympic Games. He wanted me to write an article about the documentary as it was either just out or coming out on DVD at the time.

He sent me a package which included some background info along with a couple of previous issues of the magazine. Needless to say, I was impressed by the magazine and the fact that it was supported by the International Olympic Committee. I was flattered that he had liked my movie review and wanted me to write an article for his magazine. I was also quite happy with the amount they were going to pay me (in US dollars of course) but beyond that it's a nice feeling to have something you write in print.

I said yes, of course. I wrote the article and e-mailed it off along with my invoice.

And now comes the part that many a freelance writer has faced.

Reality.

They never paid me for my article. Despite my many attempts to contact them. I did some research on line and found out that other writers had been duped by them as well. Wish I had done that research sooner. I don't even know if they published my article. Anyway, all of that doesn't matter any longer - chalk it up to another writing lesson. These things happen when you live by the pen. I didn't want to waste any more energy on it at the time so I just moved on and forgot about my little article.

Until this morning, when I found my little article again and re-read it. The article was okay, I guess. You may have seen Steven Spielberg's film Munich which chronicles the Black September aftermath. But, for me, the documentary is far more powerful. If you haven't see it - I highly recommend that you check it out.

And to put it in context - I wrote the article in June of 2002 - not quite a year after the tragic events of September 11, 2001 - which also informed my article.

So I thought I'd publish my article here. As we're approaching the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver - and knowing how the state of the world continues to be - have we learned any lessons from the past?

************

One Day In September
a documentary by Kevin Macdonald

September 11, 2001 will forever be burned in our minds as a turning point in history – when time stood still as we all watched in paralyzed horror as two planes crashed into the Twin Towers of the World Trade Centre in New York City. But on another September day, almost 30 years ago we got a taste of what was to come. Only we didn’t know it.

They were dubbed The Games of Peace and Joy by organizers of the 1972 Olympics in Munich, in an attempt to erase the negative memories of World War Two, but that moniker would become a tragic irony before the end of the games.   In the pre-dawn hours of September 5th, 1972, eight members of an extreme Palestinian group called Black September jumped a fence into the Olympic Village and took 11 Israeli athletes hostage. In less than 24 hours all the hostages would be dead as well as five of the terrorists and one police officer. The feature length documentary “One Day In September” (1999) traces the events of that day and presents some shocking revelations about what happened and why.

A film as gripping and stunning as any of the best dramatic thrillers out there, “One Day In September” (now out on DVD) maps out the events of that fateful day of September 5, 1972, from the arrival of the terrorists at the Olympic village to the tragic shoot-out at a military airport outside Munich. Remarkably, it also features an interview with Jamal Al Gashey, the only surviving member of the terrorist squad who planned the hostage taking. He's been in hiding since 1972 and has had numerous attempts made on his life. The other two surviving terrorists of that airport shoot-out were later killed by Israeli assassins. Narrated by Michael Douglas, the film also features present-day interviews with family members of the slain and various officials who played a role in attempting to stop the terrorists.

With the assistance of the Amateur Athletic Federation in Los Angeles, Director Kevin MacDonald and his production team sifted through hundreds of cans of original rushes of the 1972 Olympic Games that hadn’t been opened in 28 years. Film editor Justine Wright layers these haunting images in striking sequences, punctuated by the hard beats of popular rock music of the day.   The result is a striking flashback of what went on that day with moment –by moment news clips of ABC sports commentators reporting the horrific events juxtaposed against almost dream-like pictures of Mark Spitz as he swims to victory to the shocking upset of the Soviet basketball team over the United States to the stunning debut of Soviet gymnast Olga Korbut. Connecting these pictures is an ever present image of a digital clock - marking the hours and minutes of the day as they go by – like an Olympic time clock – but also like a ticking time bomb – taking us ever closer to the blast out at the end.

“One Day In September” shows us how the Olympic dream can become a nightmare as it peels away the happy, almost idyllic setting that was created by Olympic and German officials in a country that had sparked two world wars and attempted to exterminate an entire race of people. And yet – when the terrorists struck – everything changed.   Director Kevin MacDonald reveals an almost indifferent response on the part of Olympic officials led by Avery Brunderage the then President of the IOC, who was also involved in the organization of the 1936 so-called Nazi Olympics. MacDonald states that he was fascinated by the “morbid connection between sport and murder” - where the “Munich massacre was the ultimate transgression of an ideal of peace and brotherhood”. In effect, his film poses the important question - why did Olympic officials wait until so late in the day to halt the games?

MacDonald has also stated that there is a “cynical, even sinister aspect to a sporting event like the Olympics (and perhaps even to the sportsmen and women who take part) that I was interested in exploring.” The images of the terrorists are shocking in themselves – but what can only be described as surreal are the images of the athletes, relaxing and playing ping pong in the compound of the Olympic village, only a few yards beneath the balcony of the apartment where their fellow athletes were being held hostage – where one man lay dead and another bleeding to death. What brings us back to humanity are moving interviews with family members of the slain Israeli athletes including Ankie Spitzer, the wife of murdered fencing coach Andre Spitzer.   Ankie gives us an eloquent portrait of the man she loved but had only been married to for a short time before he was tragically taken from her.   She brings us back to the moments just before Spitzer hops onto a train bound for Munich in what would be the last time she sees her husband alive.

While some have criticized MacDonald’s style of documentary filmmaking his use of cinematic editing and rock music to underscore tragic images, “One Day in September” is an important film for several reasons. First it forces us to glean some understanding from the events of that day and put them into a present day context, considering the tragic events of September 11, 2001. Secondly it forces us to ask tough questions about the actions of Olympic officials and German authorities. Thirdly it underscores the importance of security and emergency preparedness to ensure the safety of athletes, their families and spectators at international sporting events.   Fourthly, it shows us how relevant the media is as an agent in history. The hostage taking - as a news story in 1972 was part of a change in news coverage at that time - including the Vietnam War. Here was one of the first examples of world events being played out moment by moment on our television screens at home. Again – remember CNN’s live coverage of the collapse of the Twin Towers. News is no longer about the past or recent past but the here and now. A prime example during that hostage crisis occurs when the German police attempts an impromptu rescue mission by sending inexperienced police officers dressed as athletes onto the roof of the building. Wearing brightly coloured track suits and carrying big machine guns in plain view, the entire rescue attempt was filmed by an East German film crew - and subsequently viewed on the television news by the terrorists inside. Finally, and most importantly “One Day In September” asks us not to forget the past and to be aware of what goes on around the world, not just during international sporting events but always.

One Day In September
Distributed by Sony Pictures Classics
Is now available on DVD

RADIO DAYS and STUTTERING MEMORIES

2009-12-21T08:23:00.000-05:00

By Joanna D'Angelo

So this is the time of year that many bloggers blog about Christmas or their respective holiday traditions. I've decided to forgo that and blog about my days working in college radio. Although Christmas does figure into my post.

After I graduated from the school of journalism and before I began my MA, I worked for a PIRG (Public Interest Research Group) on campus. The PIRG organizations were an offshoot of a public interest law firm in Washington DC started by Ralph Nader in the early 1970s. I'm sure you've heard of him - American social critic, lawyer, consumer advocate, author and Green Party presidential candidate. Anyway - the university PIRGs evolved from Nader's creation. The PIRG, I worked for supported environmental and social justice causes on campus as well as in the community. They also had a radio show called "Crosscurrents" on CKCU-FM (the campus/community) station at Carleton University where I went to school.

My role was to produce the weekly radio show as well as assist in other areas. I also became very involved in CKCU itself.

I've written in the past about writing plays in elementary school for my class to perform. Funny, how I dropped my dramatic/artistic inclinations in high school in favour of a more practical course of study. Stupid me, I listened to my older sister on that score (Miss Practical) rather than follow my own heart and my own inclinations. For some reason I got back into this again years later while working on "Crosscurrents". I thought it would be a great idea to write and produce a series of humourous radio sketches to highlight certain environmental and social justice issues. I enlisted the help of other OPIRG and CKCU folks to perform in the skits. Two of the performers went on to co-star in a short comedy video that I co-produced. (Might blog about that fun little gem at a later date). In addition to the sketches I also did serious interviews and segments on important issues of the day - but the skits became a hit (or so I was told ;).

As I mentioned, through my job at OPIRG, I became very involved in CKCU. I began to do volunteer work there which continued throughout my stint at OPIRG and my MA course of study and beyond. I added a film review show along with the Thursday morning co-host duties of the flag-ship morning show Special Blend and took part in producing other current affairs programming.

But there was one thing that I really wanted to do. And that was have my own music show. When I started, there weren't that many women DJs on air and the Program Director at the time (who was also a professional club DJ) was determined to change that. He was a very cool guy because he exuded a confidence about himself that was not egotistical - rather it made you feel good to be around him. Being of Guyanese background, he was also determined to add greater cultural diversity to CKCU and more women to the music department.

I mentioned to him my desire to have my own music show - and he said, "Great, but you have to put in your time first." Well, "putting in my time" meant going through the Closed Circuit training program. Each week I had to plan and put on a "fake" music show in the Closed Circuit room and tape it for review. The shows were also "broadcast" in the men's washroom for additional entertainment value not to mention added pressure for the DJ. Just try thinking of a great set that goes well with - er - certain bodily functions.

The guy who headed up the Closed Circuit training program hosted his own music show as well as a heavy metal music show on Friday nights. He also co-hosted the Friday morning Special Blend with a friend of mine. The hosts for each day were always in male/female teams. So it helped to have a great on air chemistry - considering you were there from 7 am until 10 am every week and they certainly did.

Back to my guru. He would eventually go on to to work for BMG Music Canada but at the time he was the prince of grunge at CKCU. He looked like a cross between Eddie Vedder and Chris Cornell (keep in mind this was the early '90s) and I must say he was the guy that all the women at CKCU had a thing for. Long, dark, wavy hair, plaid shirt tied around his scruffy jeans and a rather cheeky grin. I think I was the only one who didn't have a crush on him. But that was because my mind was occupied elsewhere. In any case, I learned a lot from him and if it wasn't for him I would never have ended up with a music show of my very own.

So back to our training. I remember the first time he reviewed my tape. He was very nice - but said that I tended to say "um" and "uh" a lot. Now, having come from the school of journalism - any on-air copy that I'd read was always scripted. And I never had a problem with it - in fact - I was one of the better on air readers. Well, check that. I had to work at not having a problem with it. But this was the first time that I had to "wing it" as I chatted on air about my musical sets. I was quite embarrassed and told him that - the reason was probably because when I was a kid I had a slight stutter and so to compensate I developed this tendency to say "uh" a lot. Given my nerves - it had no doubt become pronounced on my tape. But you may ask - hold up - you were already hosting the morning show weren't you? You were used to being on air. Yes, but that was current affairs - I was comfortable with that because of my journalism background. I did have problems sometimes but it happened rarely and only during interviews. This was something new - and really important to me - so I think being nervous only made it more pronounced. It's the only explanation I have - but also keep in mind that on a current affairs show with a co-host you're chatting back and forth and you also have a lot of scripted stuff to read- so again - not as nerve wracking.

But getting back to my music show review. My mentor's reaction was something I remember to this day. He smiled kindly and said, "Just pause and take a breath. You don't need to fill every second on air." This was college radio after all ;) Coolness rides again. This advice came in handy when I started doing my movie reviews for CBC radio a few years later. Honestly, it seems like such simple advice but I think it had more to do with having someone else believe in your abilities that hit home.

If you have/had a speech impediment - then you'll get what I mean. As a kid - my mind would skip quickly ahead and my mouth would trip just trying to catch up. That's how it felt for me. Sometimes I'd tangle words and sometimes I'd just freeze on certain letters - like "a" and "r". It was embarrassing - I felt stupid. My problem wasn't even that bad - it would only become pronounced when I was very tired or nervous. Nevertheless I learned to compensate.

But I do wonder if the stuttering problem was triggered because of my dual languages. Italian was my first language and I learned English from my sister who started school a year ahead of me. I still find that I have to be careful when speaking another language. I have to speak slowly or I'll begin to stumble.

People who know me now - can't believe that I ever had a stutter when I tell them because I don't stutter now - but what can I say - a lot of kids go through it. That was one of the reasons why I was so drawn to radio in the first place - where your voice is so important. It's also one of the reasons why writing is so important to me - expressing myself in words. I tend to have a problem with "over-tweaking" when I write. And my author friends are always on my case about it - I wonder if it has something to do with my stuttering past. Who knows. But I digress.

After a time in Closed Circuit an overnight music time slot became available. If any of you reading this have ever worked in radio - you'll know that the overnight shift is rather brutal. Mine started at 11 pm and finished at 7 am. But I always went in a few hours early to prep for my show. Luckily, by the time I started doing overnights we had had two security doors installed - one at each entrance of the radio station. So, once the place cleared out (and being that it was college radio there were always people there at odd hours of the night) then I'd be there by my lonesome. But at least I'd be locked in with a buzzer and intercom - because there were always crazies on campus.

Being on air over night generates a rather strange feeling. Just you and your thoughts and a microphone. I'd look out the window into the night while I was wrapping my sets. Was anyone really listening? Well, yes actually. People did tune in. I'd get requests all night long from insomniacs, night shift workers and students pulling all-nighters. CKCU was and still is a great alternative to the homogeneous crap you typically hear on AM/FM radio. This was before Sirius XM radio, after all. Of course, I'd always get the usual number of disgusting crank calls as well as a few sad, lonely people who just wanted to to talk to another human being.

So, who was I playing the music for? Well, myself mostly. I quite enjoyed listening to some of my more mellow sets while I was reading - and there was plenty of time to read in the booth. And chatting on the phone with friends. I would of course play requests as well. With so many hours to fill you welcome requests and sometimes fellow CKCU DJs would call up with words of encouragement.

One night I got tired of doing a "Lilith Fair-esque" chick music set so I decided to mix it up a bit. After all - the over night show was where you could experiment and get away with it. There were certain things we couldn't play on air during the day - unless it was in a very "careful context". Yup. Even on college radio. But late at night - watch out. Since I sometimes liked playing comedy albums - I decided to play George Carlin's "7 Words You Can't Say On Television" with a techno track underneath along with Gil Scott Heron's "The Revolution Will Not Be Televised". Hey, maybe it wasn't so original but I thought it was different for me. I thought it sounded okay too. Getting the mix right was "the thing". I taped a lot of my shows to review them afterward so I probably still have it. Yikes! A few minutes into it - the Music Director strolled into the studio and looked surprised. "Oh, Jo it's you." Yeah, I got that a lot when I was doing my show. People would be surprised at some of the stuff I would play. He thought it was one of the guy DJs. I would also jump around a lot - I'd like to play sets that were grouped thematically as opposed to stylistically. So if I was doing a "love song" set I might throw together some heavy metal, country and some R and B. That all changed later when I got a regular music show. After that, I became obsessed with building the perfect show - with making my sets flow into and out of each other seamlessly. But I'd still have fun crossing styles in my mixes.

I also liked the Music Director - who was a unique personality and sometimes rather volatile. He was very talented - a photographer and a show promoter but quite troubled as well. I recall one time when a group of us were meeting to discuss the programming in honour of the anniversary of the 14 women who were gunned down at l'École Polytechnique de Montréal in 1989 by an armed gunman named Marc Lépine. It's also known as the Montreal Massacre. It had been only a couple of years since it had happened and the tragedy was still very fresh in our minds. During our meeting we suddently heard shouting coming from the main office down the hall. It then got louder and sounded like a scuffle. We went out into the hallway (some five or six women) to witness the Station Manager and the Music Director wrestling each other to the floor in a very real fight. All hell broke loose as people from other offices came out and we all stepped in to pull them apart. The Station Manager stomped off downstairs and the Music Director went back into the main office. A few of us followed him there - myself included. We asked him what in the world they were fighting about - he grabbed a staple gun turned - and said, "Look, I'm sorry. I'll punish myself - okay?" He looked up and our eyes met and then he stapled his hand. He flinched, swore, then just stormed out, leaving us all with shocked expressions on our faces. I can't recall what they were fighting about - but it was just another typical day at CKCU.

So, after months of doing my overnight show (including a Christmas Eve/Day show - ha! there worked it in) I finally got the primo slot of 6 pm to 8 pm every Saturday. I was in between two hugely popular shows - one a reggae show which is still on the air and the other a groove/acid jazz/funk/roots music show. So given that I was building up an eclectic taste for world music as well as acid jazz I was on cloud nine.

I remember one of the nicest compliments I got was from the DJ of the show that was on after me. He was also a professional DJ and hugely popular. One time he breezed in a few minutes early to set up his show and told me how he was groovin' all the way in as he was listening to my set. I was so honoured that I'd actually impressed him. I mean - I wasn't a professional by any means - and yet doing the show was really important to me. I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it and I did. I did the show for several years until work and other commitments got the better of me (keep in mind that it wasn't just the two hours I spent in the booth but all the prep time as well). But I went back and did fill-ins every so often.

CKCU has always been a place that attracts all sorts of people - from community activists to music aficionados, to aspiring journalists, to future-record execs, to people who live in a time warp to - yes - the broken souls. They all find their way to CKCU and CKCU finds a place for them. Not only is it the place where cool new music is discovered - but it's also a way for the "voiceless" to have a voice.

Once you get involved you're in - from doing on air programming to annual funding drives. The funding drives were the most fun because we'd throw everything out the window and just do straight requests for pledges. I remember a group of us gals were hosting the women's music show during one funding drive and we kept taking turns at the mic while keeping the music going. In one hour we'd made, I think just under $1,000 which was a big deal for that slot. But one guy in particular called and made a fairly big donation (for us anyway) saying that he got a kick out of hearing so many women's voices on the air in the course of one show.

A lot of interesting and cool people have volunteered or worked at CKCU over the years and I learned a great deal from many of them. It was an important time in my life - a time that I'll always remember as being mixed with great expectations, tremendous learning experiences and also many low points. But I am glad for my time there - it taught me a lot about myself and it helped me build up my own little music collection. I am also glad for that love of music.

I Cannes Remember It Well...

2009-12-14T10:49:00.017-05:00

by Joanna D'Angelo

Some years back, I worked for a small production company that produced four feature length films along with various TV programs and while these films never made it to the big screen (most films don't) they did make it to TV and DVD - a little skirmish won on the battlefield that is "showbiz".
I have many fond memories of working on those movies - which I will save for another post - but after the movies wrapped - my role eventually grew into that of "Director of Development". My job entailed a number of duties including attending festivals and markets. Tough racket, I know.

One year I went to Cannes, France - twice - for two back-to-back events (part of a whirlwind of festival/markets I attended that year). I love film festivals. In fact, attending a film festival is like going on vacation for me. I love the crazy energy, the 24 hr adrenaline rush (amazingly you never feel tired) and the fascinating people you meet. While Cannes (the city) is best known for its film festival - it's also a base for many content markets that run throughout the year - including MipDoc, MipJunior, MipCom, MipTV etc... The year I went, (2002) I attended MipTV in April then returned in May for the Cannes Film Festival.

Having attended both events - all I can say is that it's like being in two different cities. MipTV - is where all the power people - from big production companies to distribution entities to broadcasters from all over the world gather to pitch/buy/sell or announce big deals. The panels are all about identifying trends in the marketplace, pondering the future of online content and how they can control, manipulate and make money from it and discussing what the hot new formats are. If you're unfamiliar with what a "format" is - it's a show concept (more often than not a "reality show" - but it could be a factual program or docu-soap) that has the legs to be packaged and sold to other countries but with the talent/people from that country. If you're a content creator - selling a format internationally is a big deal. Probably one of the best known examples of a successful format is American Idol. But I believe that the UK's Strictly Come Dancing (Dancing with the Stars in the US) is the most successful thus far with formats in 38 countries.

Don't get me wrong the Cannes Film Festival has power people and deal making 24/7. Of course! But it's a different vibe. Not so "corporate".

When I walked into the Palais des Festivals et des Congrès on the first morning of the first day of MIPTV - I was overwhelmed for a few minutes but that passed as I familiarized myself with my environment. My first stop was of course - The Canada Pavilion. Which was hosted/sponsored by Telefilm Canada (Canada's primary funding agency for film, TV, online content, festivals etc...) This was my home base for the week - where I could have meetings or just hang out and meet other Canadian producer types. But I was curious to see what some of the other national pavilions were like. Canada's was very modest and unassuming (we are Canadian after all). I liked the Italian pavilion the best - it was huge and located on the upper level just as you got off the escalator. Good location. It was gorgeous - decorated in the Azzuri colours. They also served espresso and pastries (I can't recall what Canada had - which means it probably wasn't much more than coffee - maybe maple candies - they're always pushing the maple stuff) And the Italian Pavilion's "people" were also very good looking and superbly dressed. No meetings set up with the Italians unfortunately.

All in all it was a busy, satisfying week for me. But not exactly "coolio". Of course all of that would change when I returned a month later for the Cannes Film Festival.

The Cannes Film Festival is one of the most amazing festivals I've ever attended. It's everything you think it will be and more - from the nightly parade of international stars to the crush of paparazzi flashbulbs to the Troma kids dressed in full zombie regalia wandering up and down the Croisette. And everywhere you turn there's a big Hollywood presence. Huge billboards of Tom Hanks or Brad Pitt, banners running the entire width of hotels, "props" like James Bond's Aston Martin preening on a platform in front of the Carlton Hotel.

The first thing I noticed was how different the "vibe" was. Everyone was laid back and very friendly. I'm not saying there weren't any jerks around - this is the movie biz after all - but for me it was magical. This was the festival of Orson Welles, Vittorio De Sica, and Federico Fellini and so many other great directors... The year I was there the organizers had set up colourful replicas of bathing huts along the Croisette. As you walked along, you could hear music from famous motion pictures floating out from the red, blue or green striped tents. There were screenings of classic movies on the beach at night and quaint movie memorabilia shops. One in particular had wall-to-wall movie posters and post cards. I love classic movie poster art - but don't know much about it. I ended up buying posters of two Jacques Tati films (Monsieur Hulot)- just fell in love with the colours and the graphics.

I attended the festival with my boss (whom I won't mention in this particular post) and local Ottawa filmmaker Lee Demarbre. Check out his production company, Odessa Filmworks. What I adore about Lee is his absolute love of movies. He's known as a cult filmmaker - whose films are rather joyful homages to B-movie lore but when it comes to cinema he's one of the most knowledgeable people I know. Very talented guy!

The production company I worked for helped subsidize Lee's trip to Cannes so that he could screen his first feature-length film - Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter at the Marché du Film (Film Market) (my boss was screening two of his films there as well). At Cannes you can pay to screen your films at the Market and try to get distributors to come see it and movie critics and journalists to write about it. Many films have been discovered this way and have gone on to great theatrical runs. Not all the best movies screen at the festival or one of the other venues such as the Quinzaine des Réalisateurs (Directors' Fortnight).

So, in order to get the word out and help promote his film - Lee wanted to put his movie posters up in as many venues as possible - starting with the Canada Pavilion. Remember, I mentioned that at MIP-TV the Pavilion was kind of ho-hum. But at Cannes it was actually a happening place. In fact it was voted best Pavilion. On the plus side - it was very Canadian - looked like a cottage/cabin and decorated with warm colours. On the down side - they were very Canadian - quite conservative and not open to Lee's indie sensibility. It was a no-go on the poster. Our next stop was the American Pavilion. They had no problem putting up the poster. In fact they loved it - and we ended up hanging out there quite a bit - Lee even got the attention of the E Network - which did a segment on him.

The next item on the agenda was promoting Lee's festival stunt. If you're not a big Hollywood celebrity like George Clooney or a beloved director like Atom Egoyan - then stunts are a good way of getting noticed at Cannes. Heck, the big movies do it too. So Lee had an idea to crucify a lesbian vampire on the beach along the Croisette. In order to explain this - I have to back track and summarize the plot of Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter: the film follows the second coming of Christ as he fights vampires (lesbian and otherwise) who can walk in daylight. Lee brought his cross all the way from Canada - (it was huge). And hired a sweet, somewhat shy young woman from Ottawa to play the lesbian vampire. So, I wrote a media release and we slipped copies in all the press mail boxes and we sent out e-mails. I think we also made a flyer that we put up around the Palais. Bingo! Lee got some decent press coverage and it turned out great for his screenings - the audience responded well and he got a favourable review in Canada's National Post and I think the Globe and Mail (don't quote me) - in any case - both are national newspapers.

Lee is also like a people magnet. People are just drawn to him. You wonder how he could possibly get to know so many people in so little time, but he does. From the Troma people to filmmaker Michael Moore - he meets them all. But he'd already been to the festival once before, so he knew his way around. One night, early on in the festival Lee, his screenwriter, one of the stars of his movie and I went to Le Petit Majestic. A bar/restaurant located behind the Majestic Hotel (one of the big swanky hotels along the Croisette). Le Petit Majestic is the most happening spot at Cannes during the festival but if you want to enjoy yourself you don't sit inside - you stand outside - with hundreds of other people. This is where the industry meets (does business) and hangs out after all the parties are over - until the wee hours of the morning - before it's time to start the day again. Truly, one of the most fun parts of the Cannes festival experience.

I can't recall exactly when the following exchange happened but at one point, I said to Lee that I didn't care for the title of his second feature Harry Knuckles and the Pearl Necklace:

Me: "It's not as catchy as Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter."

Lee: "Jo, do you know what a pearl necklace is?"

Me: "Yes, of course, it's a piece of jewelry".

Then Lee gave me a patient (yet, slightly exasperated) look and said: "No, it's when a guy c**s over a woman's neck."

Me: Ohhhhh....Right. Well. You know best."

To his credit - he didn't laugh at me.

Another time Lee insisted on going to eat at the McDonalds in Cannes. Not my first choice, but it was a Pulp Fiction thing I guess. And you know what? It was exactly the same sh**. Except for those little differences you know? In any case, it was interesting just to people watch.

In addition to my official role - organizing the transport of three films and making sure the reels actually got there (neurotic about this part actually). All the reels for the festival and market films are stored in the basement of the Palais (loved seeing the actual film canisters of some of the movies being screened - but I'm weird that way) setting up meetings for myself, my boss and even a few meetings for Lee, organizing/promoting our screenings, shmoozing and more shmoozing. I also did a few colour commentaries for CBC Radio which were fun as I got to "divulge" all my "insider" knowledge - like the time Lee and I ran into Michael Moore - who told us how much he liked Canadians. Cool, eh?

To top it all off I saw a lot of great movies including: About Schmidt, Punch Drunk Love, Bowling For Columbine, Searching for Debra Winger, The Kid Stays in the Picture, Spider (by David Cronenberg - I thought he'd be taller in person) I even liked Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones. I also saw some wonderful foreign language films - but one film in particular - Irréversible by Gaspar Noé
I will never see again - not because it was poorly done - on the contrary - I was fascinated by the reverse chronological order of the film - but because it was so graphic in its depiction of violence against women that it was just too much. I remember as the end credits were rolling one man got up, jumped in front of the screen, flung his arms out and shouted "C'est tout fini!" then stormed out.

So, that's my Cannes Festival experience. Although, this is only a fraction of all the fun - some of which was decidedly un-festival related. I have other fond memories from other festivals as well - but I'll save those for another post...

La Mia Famiglia: The TV Show

2009-12-08T21:33:00.000-05:00

by Joanna D'Angelo

I get this a lot - "Your family should be on TV". Over the years both friends and colleagues have told me that. Countless times.

I get this one too - "Your family sounds like the one on Everybody Loves Raymond".

Why? because we yell a lot and are constantly in each others' faces? I guess that could be the reason.

My heritage is Italian as many of you know and um as my name so subtly implies.

I've also heard this one: "So, do you guys - like - know anyone like The Sopranos?"

Sigh.

According to my father - yes. He worked in construction his entire life. Of course he knows 'people'.

So, I thought I'd go through my family members (including me) and see what characters/actors we'd be if we did have our own TV show. It would definitely be a comedy with some OVERLY dramatic undertones.

My Dad:

Several of my friends have told me that my Dad reminds them of Frank Costanza (Jerry Stiller). George Costanza's father on Seinfeld. Maybe it's the moustache. My dad has always had one. In fact - the few times he shaved it - he looked so weird we told him to grow it back. But I'm pretteeee sure that it's more than that. Anything that you say. Anything. He disagrees with. And he'll usually answer you with one of two sentences "Luk, aye hava more esperienze than you..." or "It duzn mattuhr..." Actually my dad's English is very good. He does have an accent though. Growing up, I never spoke Italian with my dad. Always English. He would switch back and forth with us but we always spoke English with him. Now, in the past few years I've begun to speak more Italian with him. I guess it's because I no longer have my mom and Nonna around. With them it was always Italian.

I'll give you an example of why my dad is like Frank Costanza. This happened just the other day and was the inspiration for this post. I just had to share it:

My dad: Giova, I think you girls better get that H1N1 shot (my dad has three daughters - 39, 41, 43 and he still calls us girls).

Me: Why?

My dad: Because all day long they've been showing these World War II shows on TV - and it's very strange - they're showing them on all the channels.

Me: Pops, it's the anniversary of Pearl Harbour. That's why they're showing all of those documentaries.

My dad: (Pauses - but only for a moment mind you). It duzn mattuhr...These governments come up with all sorts of ways to make people sick.

Me: Alright. Alright. We'll go....

I've learned over the years to humour my dad - to never keep "one of those" conversations going. When I was a teenager I would love to "debate" with him on purpose. Now. Forget. It. Besides sometimes I actually agree with him. But not when it comes to connecting the war, H1N1 and The Government. My dad can be somewhat of a conspiracy theorist as well. But he comes by it honestly. He grew up with the legacy of Mussolini in post World War II Italy.

My Mother:

My mom was the quintessential Italian mama. She was a great cook. Very loving. Would yell a lot. Would love to give hugs. Would tell you a billion times a day how much she loved you and how smart and wonderful you were. She passed away about five years ago.

My mom embodied a certain aspect of Marie Barone (Doris Roberts) Not the critical/manipulative side - she wasn't like that. But the "(s)mothering/babying" side. Yes, that was her. She was also like Helen Seinfeld (Liz Sheridan) - Jerry Seinfeld's mom. Your biggest fan and greatest cheerleader. "Who wouldn't like Jerry?" and "Yay, Jerry". That was my mom.

When my mom was undergoing chemo therapy (after her cancer had come back a second time and we were told it was inoperable) - I took her to see a naturopathic doctor to try to minimize as many of the chemo side effects as possible. My mother had started a clinical drug trial which the doctors had hoped would shrink the tumour. There were, I think, about five to seven women on this drug. None of them made it.

But getting back to the naturopath - a terrific woman - whom I continue to see today. She's become a friend and I adore her. During one of our sessions - the naturopath asked my mom what her favourite food was and my mom said tomatoes. She talked about all the wonderful dishes she liked to cook. Especially her homemade tomato sauce. She made the best tomato sauce. Then my mom, started asking the naturopath questions. What do you like eat? Do like homemade pizza? No? You like my pizza. I bring you some. By the end of our session the naturopath was laughing and completely in love with my mom. Everyone who met my mom fell completely in love with her. She was "tutto cuore" (all heart).

My Grandmother (Nonna) (my father's mother):

Nonna died at the age of 91. She had a remarkable life and lived through many trials. But she was - shall we say - "old school". Very old world Italian. She ruled over her four children like a mafia Don. Seriously. She could be quite manipulative which caused numerous family rifts and fights. So a TV character of Nonna would have to be - hands down - Livia Soprano (the late great Nancy Marchand) Don't get me wrong - I ADORED my Nonna. In fact, I always got along with her. I even made a documentary short about her many years ago - when I was a member of the SAW Video Co-op in Ottawa. As an aside - SAW is a terrific organization and a great way for filmmakers/videomakers to actually get something made. I (along with my creative partner in crime at the time) made four videos through SAW. We sold three of them to two broadcasters which was very cool because we were so new to "the biz" that we really didn't know what we were doing. I think SAW has all the videos I made on their web site - but last time I checked their database was down. I loved making that video. My Nonna had a great deal of patience with us during filming - until that is - she got fed up and started yelling "ma vaffanculo!" (um- I don't think I need to translate that one).

My older sister:

My older sister is a criminal lawyer so I see her work side reflected in the character Alexandra Cabot (Stephanie March) on Law and Order SVU. High ethical standards with a great respect for the law as well as a desire to make a difference - especially where young offenders are concerned. She's also a bit like Carmela Soprano (Edie Falco) (if you've watched the show you'll know what I mean). My sister (who is now a partner in her firm) works with one of the top criminal defence lawyers in Canada. He hired her right after she articled with him and that was that. She's one of the smartest people I know and got top marks throughout school. At the age of 9, she read the biographies of every king, queen, president, scientist etc.. that she could find at the library. Class-A Nerd. But she's also a Gemini. She has another side. A glamourous/fashionista side - or she used to before she had kids. She's no longer a shopaholic when it comes to clothes - now she's a a pazza (crazy woman) when it comes to buying kids' toys. Drives me nuts. But she still dyes her hair Pamela Anderson blonde and she still enjoys tanning when she can find the time. And she reads gossip magazines. I asked her once why she enjoys reading Star, In Touch, People, US Weekly etc... She replied, "I read tons at work. I have to deal with serious stuff all day so it helps me to relax". So much for that biography on Elizabeth I.

My younger sister:

My younger sister suffers from bi-polar disorder and OCD. She's had one form of mental illness or another since she was very young - so she's been living with this disease for most of her life. The thing about mental illness is that it's always changing or taking on different shades. What can begin as anxiety in a child can develop into depression if the pre-disposition is there. And did you know that uni-polar depression can develop into bi-polar? I only found that out recently - because it happened to my sister. Her depression has been so very severe over the years that it shifted and morphed into this "new and improved" torture. This was the only diagnosis her doctors could come up with by process of elimination. Because it couldn't be this or that - it had to be bi-polar. Psychiatry is definitely NOT an exact science. My sister would be tough to cast I think but the only actresses who come close to her in terms of onscreen personas would be Wynona Ryder (Beetle Juice and Girl, Interrupted) and Christina Ricci (pretty much everything she's been in including Prozac Nation). In fact my sister looks a bit like Ricci so I think it would be a good fit.

Me:

I'm the "artistic" one in the family. I've always wanted to tell stories, write and direct. When I was in grade two I used to put on plays during library class (yes, we had library class - we're a nation of book nuts in Canada - didn't you know that?). I was always the director and I would cast all the parts. One of my friends - wanted to be The Princess. She was very cute but could also be quite selfish. So given that she was The Princess in our previous show, I decided to give the role to another friend who was very shy and always stood in the background. That did not sit well with Princess One. She stormed off stage. No worries. We did the play without her. I also wrote a TV show in grade five which I cast from my homeroom class. Problem was, my actors were more concerned with playing at recess than performing my lines. So, we had to shelve it.

As for my TV character persona - well I have related to so many great gals over the years - but right now I have to say that it would be a cross between Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) of (30 Rock) and Erica Strange (Erin Karpluk) of (Being Erica - my favourite Canadian show and one of my favourite shows on TV right now). They are both talented, quirky, funny characters. But what I really connect with is their need or (frustrating) duty to save/nurture/fix/ the problems of everyone else in their lives often to their own detriment. They also don't realize the full extent of their talent/potential. They're really screwy when it comes to relationships and they're haunted by their past - whether on a comedic level or a more serious one. In Erica's case - her ability to go back into the past (I wish) and deal with certain regrets that she has, doesn't always pan out.

So there you have it. My family. The TV show. I think I've got a hit on my hands!

Thanks for tuning in.

SECRET CONFESSIONS OF MY PVR

2009-11-19T12:43:00.000-05:00

Originally posted on March 29, 2009 on popculturedivas

by Joanna D'Angelo

PVR - otherwise known as Personal Video Recorder or DVR (Digital Video Recorder) or by the popular/brand name TIVo. People tend to say TIVo rather than PVR - even using it as a verb - as in " I Tivo'd America's Next Top Model last night so don't tell me who won the cat fight.

I don't know about you but I'm hooked on my PVR. I have a Rogers PVR so I can record up to 50 hours of programming. Now, you might think - WOW! That's a lot of TV. Well, yes it is. But believe me - it fills up pretty fast. Before you go thinking I'm a TV junkie - I don't actually record 50 hours of TV programs a week! ha ha ha...*says nervously*. Actually, these are programs that I've accumulated over time - a long time - that I just haven't gotten around to watching... because I'm so busy...writing! *declares with conviction*.

So here is a sampling of the TV shows/movies that currently make their home on my PVR:

Shows that I can't part with - just yet:

30 Rock - 3 eps that feature the delicious Jon Hamm (Dr. Drew Baird) as Tina Fey's (Liz Lemon) love interest....including the one where Jack (Alec Baldwin) and his girlfriend Elisa (Salma Hayek) run into a snag when Elisa's grandmother upon meeting Jack hates him on sight. We find out it's because he looks just like the evil Generalissmo in her favourite telenovela (actually it's Alec Baldwin playing two roles). Meanwhile Liz Lemon turns into the Generalissimo in order to "woo" Dr. Drew. Hilarious! I've watched it several times and I'm not ready to part with it just yet...maybe not for a long time...maybe never. While, I love Jon Hamm I don't feel the need to keep all of the Mad Men eps. I think it's because he's playing a different character here - someone who dates a cute, clever, wise-cracking, glasses-wearing brunette. Ahem.

Shows that I haven't watched yet:

Lost in Austen - A four part mini-series where a modern day London singleton finds a portal in her bathroom shower no less that transports her into Jane Austen's beloved book "Pride and Prejudice". Originally aired on ITV in the UK and based on the novel of the same name by Emma Campbell Webster - it premiered in Canada on the W network and I recorded it over Christmas. I'd like to watch it in one shot but I can't find a four hour time slot in my schedule yet. *sigh* I might have to re-think this one.

Masterpiece Classic (The PBS powerhouse formerly known as Masterpiece Theatre): This is an amazing season hosted by the wonderful Laura Linney. So far they've shown movie re-makes of Tess of the D'Urbervilles based on the Thomas Hardy classic (which I missed and hope they'll run again). And a re-make of one of my favourite books - Emily Bronte's -- Wuthering Heights (which I recorded and plan to watch).

Shows that I record and watch on a weekly basis (give or take a day/week).

Spooks: The fast-paced and riveting BBC series (broadcast here on BBC Canada) about the UK's national spy agency MI-5 just added Richard Armitage to its ranks. Unfortunately we lost Rupert Penry Jones. Couldn't they have found room for two gorgeous actors? Sheesh!

Xena Warrior Princess: It launched director/producer Sam Raimi's career and made Lucy Lawless into a star. The series ended in 2001 :( but it continues to thrive around the world in syndication because it's such a clever, fun, poignant, post-modern treat. Oh yeah - and because it kicks butt! There are currently not enough kick-ass heroines on TV so thank you to Canada's Drive-In Classics channel for airing it!

Medium: This NBC show (airs in Canada on CTV) is now in its fourth season. Inspired by the real life medium Allison DuBois - the show inspired the nick-name the "psychic soccer mom" because Allison (played by Patricia Arquette) manages to catch murderers and take her kids to school every day. Imagine that! It's a smart and spooky show with the best opening teasers on TV. One of the things I love about Medium is that the husband and kids are an integral part of the drama. They aren't just trotted out at the end of each episode - the family dynamic is key to how the show operates and defines why Allison does what she does.

The Daily Show: This Comedy Central hit (airs in Canada on the Comedy Network) is known as a "fake news" show but there is nothing fake about the sharp and insightful world view that Jon Stewart and his team share with us four nights a week.

So that's just a taste of what inhabits my PVR. There's more of course - but I leave those confessions for another time. Does anyone else love their PVR? And what lives in your PVR memory?

WELCOME TO THE TWITTER-VERSE

2009-11-19T12:41:00.000-05:00

Originally posted April 27th, 2009 on popculturedivas

by Joanna D'Angelo

I'm not an internet maven or an online guru or a social networking genius or whatever they're calling it these days. But I am certainly no luddite either! Over the past few years I have heartily embraced the power and wonder of online social networking. Currently, I'm a member of several social networking sites, some better than others - but- hey you gotta try them all on for size right? I have a personal facebook account and I manage a group on facebook called LOVE ROMANCE NOVELS. We just hit the 2,000 member mark and I believe it's the biggest romance fiction group on facebook.

Now, you may think 2,000 members isn't that much considering some facebook groups number hundreds of thousands. But it's a very active group. There is constant chat on the wall and in the discussion groups. People are always sharing what they're reading and which authors they love - both newly discovered and long time faves. Our group is comprised of wonderful authors (some of whom are contributors to this blog :) dedicated aspiring writers and of course voracious readers. Well, we're all readers whether we write or not - but it's an amazing group! I also promote new releases on the site and through a group mail-out twice a week. The members - both readers and authors alike seem to enjoy and appreciate this service. Why do I do this? Because I want to. Because I like doing it. And because it helps me connect with other like-minded individuals.

I just launched a twitter version of LOVE ROMANCE NOVELS through a new application called twibes.com. Twitter itself is pretty basic but there are new applications that are cropping up every day to cater to hungry twitter users. So far I have 91 members - but I only launched it a couple of weeks ago and I expect it will steadily grow. It'll become more dynamic as well once the application allows us to post directly to the group. The twitter group will be useful for having theme-specific chats. Group chats on facebook are tough because there is a delay and you have to keep refreshing your page. Twitter works faster - and a twitter group would make it easier to connect with like-minded people. In this case - romance writers, readers and romance industry types. Keep in mind you have to keep your posts to 140 characters or less! Remember when we used to study and practice the "précis" in elementary school? Well, it's coming in handy now, ain't it?

There is something about social networking that has taken the world (online and real) by storm. Twitter seems to be leading the pack at present. Wired just proclaimed that Twitter has now become a cultural phenomenon. In March, Twitter reportedly more than doubled its world wide membership from 9.8 million users to 19.1 million - making it the fastest-growing site according to Comscore - 9.3 million users were from the U.S. alone according to Techcrunch.

I'm sure we'll see even bigger numbers for the month of April - due to two big Twitter happenings: the Twitter battle between Ashton Kutcher and CNN to see who could make it to one million followers first. As everyone in the twitterverse and beyond now knows - Kutcher won - declaring it a turning point in modern communications that one person could beat out a world media mogul in such a big way. As of this article's posting - CNN (or rather CNN Breaking News) stands at 1,237,164 followers while Kutcher is maintaining a huge lead at 1,456,397 .

The second big Twitter event happened when Oprah signed up live on April 17th. Oprah now stands at 639,437 followers. That's a lot of tweeps! Go Oprah!

Many other celebrities have found a home on Twitter - including Demi Moore, who calls herself Mrs. Kutcher on her home page, John Mayer who in his bio refers to himself as a recording/sandwhich artist and Hugh Jackman who's been on for a while. Jackman often posts updates about his charities, the movies he's working on or promoting, his travel plans and even his social schedule. He recently confirmed a dinner date with Oprah for this Thursday night. Jackman is scheduled to appear on Oprah Live this Friday.

So why do I care that Oprah is having dinner with Hugh in the "same booth" at the same restaurant they went to last time? Well, - it's kinda cool that we can find this out directly from them as opposed to TMZ, or Perez Hilton. It eliminates the "middle man" and as we know celebrity gossip sites can sometimes be - er - less than kind to celebrities. Sometimes we just want the updates without the snark. Meanwhile, mainstream entertainment news outlets like Access Hollywood also reported Oprah and Jackman's twitter dinner confirmation on their web sites and will most likely mention it on their shows. But we in the twitterverse knew about it first.

Why is online social networking so popular? Well, other than the direct connection to celebrities which is cool but may not be high up on the priority list for everyone - it helps us feel current. In this new information age where anything and everything that's happening - is blogged, or tweeted or facebooked FIRST - then it's a veritable feast for information junkies. Whether our online junk food of choice is politics, world news, celebrity gossip or even quilting tips. If we want it - it's out there for us to access. Both Barack Obama and John McCain used twitter effectively during the 2008 presidential campaign. Oh, in case you're interested Obama currently has 998,258 and McCain has 516,179
followers. Obama's successful mantra Yes We Can resonated online just as much as on the campaign trail.

It also helps us feel connected. Whether we're thrilled that John Mayer or P Diddy may reply to our tweets or not - many of us use social networking sites such as facebook and twitter to stay in touch with our friends and family - post pictures and send messages quickly and effectively. It certainly helps us avoid potentially long-winded phone conversations and well - letter writing is just soooo 20th century.

Finally, if you're a writer, musician, actor, filmmaker or if you sell anything online from cupcakes to hand-made soap - then social networking has become an important tool for building an online community of peers and contacts, for self-promotion and most of all for growing your audience.

Oh, and if you're honest and willing to admit that you have an ego - it's very cool to have lots of online friends or "followers". To quote from that now infamous Sally Field acceptance speech at the 1985 Oscars - "You like me! Right now! You like me!"

And guess what? You can still get your work done. Most people pop on and off throughout the day. Online social networking has become the new coffee break or water cooler chat. I tend to stay on longer in the mornings and at night but there's always a conversation going on no matter what time of day or night. You can stop by have a chat and then get back to work. For those of you who separate "real networking" from twitter or facebook - perhaps you might re-consider that way of thinking - because for many of us - online social networking has become a part of our regular every day routines.

Oh, and you can reach me on twitter at this address http://twitter.com/JoannaDangelo

Later tweeps!

WHAT DOES MTV'S "THE HILLS" HAVE TO DO WITH "THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW"?

2009-11-19T11:16:00.000-05:00

Originally posted May 31, 2009 on popculturedivas

By Joanna D'Angelo

Okay I admit it. I watch The Hills. Heck, I watch the spin-off show The City too. I'm well past the age when I can relate to the lives of 20-somethings. Especially rich, well-dressed and somewhat spoiled 20-somethings. But I haven't forgotten what those years were like. Desperately trying to find ourselves and our place in the world. Dealing with a broken heart that we think is never going to mend. Having to negotiate between friends who were "fighting" - often involving many late night phone conversations. Yes, that kind of thing happens in our 20s. At least it happened in my 20s and it happens all the time on The Hills - except with designer clothes and perfectly coiffed hair.

The Hills wrapped up its fifth season tonight with a wedding (Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt), new beginnings (the grand entrance of Kristin Cavallari of Laguna Beach fame) and a fond farewell to Lauren Conrad (or LC as she is known to her friends). But what will become of The Hills now that Lauren has left?

The Hills has become a veritable pop culture phenomenon.
A docu-soap - heavy emphasis on soap - where the romances, social lives and occasional work lives of a group of friends who live in L.A are filmed, edited and packaged for the youth of North America to devour. The cast members are all well-to-do, upper middle class 20-somethings - whose parents are either wealthy or wealthy/famous. Brody Jenner - one of the cast members is the son of former Olympic gold medalist Bruce Jenner. Bruce Jenner on the other hand is on his own reality show Keeping Up With The Kardashians...but that's another story. But there-in lies the appeal for millions of viewers. The fact that they are wealthy, good looking, well dressed 20-somethings.

So back to Lauren Conrad's exit from the show. The producers decided to bring Kristin Cavallari back into the MTV fold to fill the void. But back when they were high school girls on Laguna Beach - Kristin's "Rizzo" had always been that of a foil to Lauren's "Sandy". Then Lauren moved to L.A. and onto The Hills - where she grew up into the "Mary Richards" of the show.

Lauren was essentially the star of The Hills. She was the cast member - heck "character" we all rooted for. She was the girl that all the girls watching at home - related to. But since she has now left the show - The Hills lacks a central female character for the primarily female audience to rally 'round. It's like The Mary Tyler Moore Show without Mary Tyler Moore.

I certainly am not comparing The Hills to one of TV's most beloved comedies or Laguna Beach to that phenomenal musical but producers at MTV have done a clever job of slotting the cast members into definite roles that mimic - in a "reality-show" way - various iconic characters from movies and classic TV. Which is one of the reasons why The Hills is so popular. Even though many of the young kids who watch The Hills don't even know who Mary Tyler Moore is - they do subliminally understand what she means. The idea of rooting for a hero (or in this case) heroine on a quest - is nothing new to us - as Joseph Campbell illuminated in his seminal work A Hero With A Thousand Faces. It's one of the driving forces of storytelling. And even - dare I say - reality TV-telling.

FROM A WRITER'S REJECTION TO INSPIRATION

2009-11-19T10:33:00.000-05:00

Originally posted Aug. 31, 2009 on popculturedivas

By Joanna D'Angelo

I have something to share that starts out kind of frustrating but ends on an inspiring note. It's also an example of why I love movies. When you're feeling down - movies can really lift your spirits or inspire or just make you laugh. Julie and Julia did that for me this past weekend but more on that later.

For the past many weeks I was working on developing a documentary series about a woman - a very fascinating and unique woman who had gone from rags to riches back to rags and was making a comeback. She is very well known in many circles. I pitched my idea to a producer that I've worked with in Ottawa - one whom I trust and respect. My producer then approached this person and we set up a meeting which went better than I could have dreamed.

Several meetings later we all had bonded and we had a verbal agreement with this woman. My producer was working on getting her to sign a legal agreement so that we could go ahead and approach broadcasters. Meanwhile I was happily working on a proposal for the show.

I spoke with this woman several times by phone and I felt that we really hit it off. I had a really good feeling about her. We all felt good about the project and we all felt good about what we were doing. We were very respectful of her and we wanted this project to tell her story. I finished the proposal and sent it off to my producer. And then two days later my producer called me to say that it was a no go.

My producer had received an e-mail from the woman, informing us that she would no longer be working with us because she had met with another producer and would be working with them instead. She wasn't mean in the e-mail - in fact she ended it with a "love..." Keep in mind that we approached her - she hadn't even thought about doing a show about this phase of her life. So my producer e-mailed and called her. She has yet to call back.

I had spent weeks on this proposal. I had a terrible writer's block that I managed to push through. I wrote, what I thought, was one of my best proposals ever. My producer even told me it was the best proposal she'd ever read. Well, at least I had that. But what to do now. I felt lousy.

I've been rejected many times from producers, broadcasters, film festivals, funding agencies, writing contests - you name it! But this time I felt that I had let myself down as well because I didn't read her better from the get-go. And I was frustrated because I had this great proposal with no subject - therefore no TV show!

TV is tough. So very tough. I think for anyone who has tried to pitch a show - it's a long process and what begins as your baby ends up belonging to a gazillion people - unless you're David Chase or David Kelly or Larry David (what is it about the Davids?). So when you have an idea about a show that you think is really, really good and you have everyone on board who matters and then the person who matters most - the subject - pulls out - well it's hard to deal with. So I was feeling a little sorry for myself. For a while. (I think we all have a right to do that after we get rejected).

Then this past weekend I went to see Julie and Julia starring Amy Adams (as Julie Powell) and Meryl Streep (as Julia Child). We're familiar with the story by now - Julie Powell is an aspiring writer feeling unfulfilled as she approaches 30. She decides to challenge herself and write a blog - documenting her experiences as she attempts all 524 recipes of Julia Child's cookbook "Mastering the Art of French Cooking" over the course of one year.

The movie beautifully parallels Powell's life with Child's and of course the similar struggles they both go through - about trying to find that creative fulfillment that inspires you to bounce out of bed every day.

After watching Julie and Julia I was inspired. I have more ideas and more projects I'm working on that I'm excited about. So it's time to move on and "get cooking"! I chalked up the proposal I wrote to another "learning" experience. I learned how to be a better writer. I learned how to be more careful when it comes to these types of projects in the future. I learned to not be so hard on myself for things I can't control. In short getting rejected can end up being a rather positive experience.

Has anyone experienced any rejections regarding a proposal or idea? How did you work through it?

Images Courtesy of http://www.julieandjulia.com/